There’s a “big ol’ boy” at FitOne, the fitness center where I go to try to keep “physically fit.” He’s probably 6′ 1″, weighing in at 270 pounds. He’s likely 60 pounds overweight in his mid-40’s. I have no idea why he’s at the gym. It doesn’t seem to be doing him any good. Yet, he huffs and puffs, groans and strains along with dozens of other chunksters who I figure either have a martyr complex or are bored with life. Apparently, they think sweatin’ at the gym will make them feel a little less guilty about their overindulgent lifestyle.
Actually there are a lot of “big boned” people who like to trot on treadmills, elip on the eliptical machines, pull and tug on the weight machines, or stick little round disks on metal bars and hoist them into the air. It’s fun to watch this circus. They sweat and groan while dreaming of the quarter-pounder with cheese that awaits them after their workout.
After all, that’s why they work out, right, so they can eat whatever they want? They’re working out now so they can create a calorie deficit to be filled with a double Whopper and crispy fries. Or, they can work off the excess calories tomorrow.
One hour at the gym a couple times a week and they’re good. They get their money’s worth and feel good after the workout. That’s what it’s about, right?
My conclusion? I’m going to stop going to the fitness center because I see a lot of fat people there. The gym must be making them fat. I can’t take that risk. I’ll find some other way to knock off a few pounds, lower my LDL numbers and blood pressure, and strengthen my heart.
I’ll stay home and watch a Beachbody video while sipping some sweet tea. There’s nothing like observing a good role model to motivate me. Being yelled at is good for me, too. I’ll definitely take some notes, capture some ideas on paper.
Better yet, I’ll read Bigger, Leaner, Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Male Body. After all, I need something simple. And I really do pine to possess the ultimate male body. Mind you, I won’t just read the book. Oh no! I’m far too serious about my health. Unlike most people, I’ll actually carve out quiet time to think a lot about what I read and even journal some of my thoughts. I think I’ll start on this after I order the book on Amazon and after I finish reading The One Minute Workout. I’m already imagining myself moving, feeling, and looking better.
Maybe joining GA (Gluttons Anonymous) will help. Being in community with other less-fit individuals will bring healing and strength to my inner anatomy. “I’m brawn and beautiful!” I’ll label it: Toning by Talking. “Tenderize those tendons and make mighty those muscles.” I can feel it working already.
But this means I’d have to get off the couch and do something. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
For sure, I’ve made up my mind. The one thing I’m not going to do – I’m not going to the gym to work out. That would be disastrous for my health.
Please, join me in boycotting the gym. If enough of us rebel against this oppressive system, we might be able to make a real difference in the lives of thousands of people.
Watch this video to solidify your decision. It seems a bit staged. Then again, it might crack you up!